Aug 26 2009
2nd Day without!
I know when people who are in a 12 step program for addiction, they count the days they have been sober.
This is the beginning of my second day without(completely)…without cigarettes. This is a challenge, doing this completely solo. I am quitting, and in my world of people surrounding me, all of them smoke, a pack a day or more. The equivalent would be if an alcoholic went on the wagon and his AA meetings were held in the same bar that they used to go drinking at….
Why isn’t there more organizations out there that promote quitting smoking in the same manner they do alcohol and drug abuse??
People smoke a hell of a lot more than they drink or use drugs, only difference is smoking does not make a person inebriated. It causes more damage to the worldwide health more than any other substance.
Yet we allow it to have pretty much, a free ride, with the exception of now it has been banned from public places here in Washington state. You cannot smoke within 25 feet of a public entry way here. Who is going to enforce that rule? Is it one of those laws that is a courtesy law? If you are a courteous citizen, you will obey it, if you are not, you just piss people off about it. Piss them off enough, someone will report you, LOL. That would be a time when I would like to be a fly on the wall to see how that one goes down.
Enough SOAP BOX! Whew…I get up there and get started, next thing ya know, it’s an hour later!
Yesterday was tough, REALLY tough! Smoking was on my brain all day, ALL DAY!
Many times throughout the day, I found my brain coming up with excuses, different reasons why it would be good to go get a pack. NO EXCUSES ALLOWED.
Been doing a lot of deep breathing exercise, just to keep myself calmer. Overall, if you asked my opinion about my quitting smoking, right now….I would say….IT SUCKS!
I even thought I could rationalize having just one or two a day, that would be acceptable, wouldn’t it? It would not be enough to annoy anyone. I could smoke them outside when I am relaxing at the end of the day….my brain was coming up with some really good ones too.
This anxiety stuff is for the birds…I feel like that cockatoo that is tired of being in her cage so she dances back and forth, back and forth, swinging her head up and down, letting out an ear piercing screech once in awhile just to remind you that she is tired of being cooped up and needs to get out!!! That is exactly where I am with it right now. My day is lost, I need to get out! Help…squawk!
Well thankfully I have a little bit more responsibility today, I am babysitting my grandson later on for about 5 hours. He will be 2 in October. He has the sweetest smile and cutest laugh…that is when he is having a good day…many days I have been around him, have not been so good…when he is having a bad day, there is NOTHING in the world that stops this kid from throwing a fit, and I am not talking about just laying on the floor crying, but a full on, throw your body into it, not pay attention to anything kind of fit…the kind that you fear for his safety with. So because he is so active, because he is so reactive, he will keep my mind off smoking for at least 5 hours or DRIVE me right back to it after 5 hours…depends on what kind of day he’s having. Don’t get me wrong, I love my grandson with all my heart, but I am a realist and will tell anyone like it is…I have never seen a kid like him, he knows how to climb anything, I mean ANYTHING! You know how when you kids are little, you change around the environment in your home because they might get into something they shouldn’t, well he finds ways to climb over it, push it over, pull it over, lift it up, climb under it, break it, move it out of his way so he can get to what he wants. God forbid, you tell him NO once he has found a way to get to it. He is the perfect G.I. JOE. Dogged determination that won’t forget or give up.
Aye, wish me luck! 
Later
